where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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