If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
