I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
