Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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