i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize