If that was your dad, he is hot
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
