Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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