OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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