there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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