Just took my morning after pill in the library
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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