it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
