Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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