Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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