But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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