she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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