Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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