dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.