My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.