thanks...oh and i got my period
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone