I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
