If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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