Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
