Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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