that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
