It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize