So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
