Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
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My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
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A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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