turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
