The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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