? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just googled if crying burns calories
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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