She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
