if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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