Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
