so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
try to milk me bitch
Randomize