dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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