Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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