Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
