bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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