im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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