Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
