I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
So apparently I’m into choking now
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
