I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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