We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize