In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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