He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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