my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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