Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
