dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Come back. Shots need mouths.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
