Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
