marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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