he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
