Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
