I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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