It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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