At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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