they need to just BURY HIM!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You made out with two different species that night
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
