I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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