Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
