i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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