what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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