Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
